


I Could Never Hate You

by lunabelle



Series: AU One-Shot Collection [6]
Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Coma, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hospitalization, Injury, Jealousy, Light Angst, Major Character Injury, Recovery, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-16 04:27:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11246301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunabelle/pseuds/lunabelle
Summary: When Andy falls into a coma after a motorcycle crash, April refuses to leave his side.  As much as she realizes she cares for him, she can't help but feel like it's all her fault.





	I Could Never Hate You

**Author's Note:**

> Requested by spiderman0117 on tumblr as a different take on the S2 episode "Freddy Spaghetti" where Andy crashes his motorcycle, but ends up in a coma and suffers some memory loss when he wakes up.
> 
> Lots of canon references, but a slightly different (okay, very different) ending. :)

Forgetting all the stupid stuff April had been angry about was easy when she heard Andy had gotten into an accident. Apparently, it had been right after she’d told him they shouldn’t be together and left him on that sidewalk. He’d been trying so hard to get her to stop and listen to him, and when she finally did, she blew him off.

Now, she felt like this was her fault. Maybe if she’d been nicer to him, just given him a chance, he wouldn’t have gone back to the stupid kids concert. Then he wouldn’t have gotten on that motorcycle.

“Is he okay?” she asked, bursting into his hospital room unannounced. Ann was by his bedside, writing on a chart. Leslie was there too, looking worried beyond belief.

“April, what are you doing here?” Ann asked.

“What are you doing here, janitor?” April hissed, pushing past the two women and leaning over the bed.

“I’m his nurse—“

“Andy?” April spoke softly, running her hand over his cheek. “It’s me.”

Andy lay there, his eyes closed and his face a bit scratched. One of his arms was in a sling. He looked peaceful, but he was completely unresponsive.

“April—“

“Go away Ann,” she said, without bothering to look at her.

“April,” Leslie spoke in a quiet voice, carefully placing a hand on her shoulder. “Listen, um…”

“Can you just go away?” April muttered, shrugging her off. “I’ve got it from here, okay? He’s just sleeping, he’s—“

“He’s in a coma,” Ann blurted out quickly.

April felt her stomach drop. No, he couldn’t be. He was Andy. This stuff happened to him all the time, and he always bounced back.

“Lame joke Ann. He’s fine,” she shook her head.

“Ann’s telling the truth,” Leslie said softly.

“April,” Ann reached out to her, but April pushed her hand away angrily.

“Go away!” she yelled.

Ann looked at Leslie, and the blonde woman took her leave. Ann gathered up her chart and sighed.

“Listen,” Ann said. “I’m Andy’s nurse, so I’ll be here whether you like it or not. But right now, he’s in a coma. We don’t know when he’ll come out of it. You can stay, but if you cause a disruption, I’ll have you thrown out. Understand?”

_“Go away,”_ April said again, keeping her voice low to try and stop it from shaking.

Ann started to say something, but must have thought better of it. Instead, she turned and left.

“I’m sorry Andy,” April whispered, stroking back some of his short curls. “I’m so sorry.”

 

A nudge on the shoulder woke April sometime later. She must have fallen asleep in the bedside chair, her arms stretched over Andy’s side as she slept. It was dark out, and the hospital was quiet. Andy was still exactly the way he’d been when she left him, but now Ann was back. So was Leslie, and this time she brought Ron and Tom.

“How you doing, April?” Leslie asked, taking a seat in the second chair and handing her a coffee.

“Fine,” she said stiffly, reaching for Andy’s hand. His skin was warm. He was _always_ so warm.

“Oh man,” Tom said, staring at Andy like he’d never seen something so terrible. “He gonna come out of it?”

“Of course he is,” April growled. “What do you think this is? He’s not dead!”

“Sorry…” Tom quieted at once. He was always scared of April when she was angry.

“This is all my fault,” Leslie sighed. “I was the one who told Andy to play in place of Freddy Spaghetti. I was the one who made him go back to get his guitar—“

“Leslie,” Ann shook her head. “This isn’t your fault!”

“She’s right, Knope,” Ron grumbled, watching Andy with concerned eyes.

“Yeah,” Ann went on. “Honestly, if Andy didn’t try to ride a motorcycle with literally no experience—“

“Don’t you _dare_ blame him, Ann!” April spat, spinning around wildly so she was facing the nurse. “Who the hell do you think you are? Andy didn’t cause the accident! Someone hit him!”

“April!” Leslie tried to calm her down, but April had had it. It was all too much. She plowed over Leslie’s words with more yells.

“You’ve never been good to him,” she went on, shaking now. “You always made him feel like shit, always made him feel like he wasn’t good enough! Now you’ve got the nerve to blame him for this, when all he was trying to do was help? He’s always helping everyone and no one bothers to help him!”

“April, calm down,” Ann warned her, stepping forward a little.

“Get away from me,” April turned back toward Andy.

“One of you needs to get her out of here,” Ann said angrily. “She can’t stay if she’s going to have a fit like this.”

“I’m not leaving,” April said, shaking her head. “Don’t even try to make me leave.” She grabbed hold of Andy’s hand again.

“April,” Ron’s voice was level, soft. “C’mon, I think you need a break.”

“I’m not leaving,” she started breathing rapidly, tears stinging her eyes. “I’m not—“

“I told you that if you cause a disruption, you’re out,” Ann pulled the curtain around Andy’s bed, blocking April and the others from his view. “You didn’t listen, and now you’ve got to leave. Maybe you can come back tomorrow—“

“Fuck you, Ann,” April growled. “I’m not leaving!”

“Ron, if you don’t get her out of here, I’ll call security and have her removed.”

“April, come on,” Leslie stood up and took April by the arm, while Ron placed a steady hand on her back.

April twisted in Leslie’s grasp, trying to stay put. It was useless. Between Leslie and Ron, there was no way she’d be able to stay. She didn’t put it past the stupid nurse to call cops on her.

“I need to stay,” she said, her voice soft and pitiful now. “Please,” she looked at Ann, trying to tone down the anger she felt in that moment.

“I’m sorry April,” Ann said, and for a moment she truly looked it. “Andy needs to rest.”

April took a deep, steady breath. “I hate you,” she hissed, turning away. Without waiting for Leslie or Ron to follow, she stormed out the door and ran, fast enough so they couldn’t possibly catch her.

 

For the next three days, April missed work. Each day she visited Andy, ignoring Ann and letting any calls go straight to voicemail.

The nurse went about her business, occasionally checking on Andy while April was there, but trying to avoid the room altogether when she could. April was glad. The more she saw of Ann, the angrier she got.

Andy didn’t change. His face remained still and emotionless, but he was always warm. One time, April swore she felt his hand tighten around hers, but when she looked up, he was just as still as before.

“April,” Ann walked up behind her, and April ignored her. “We need to clean him up a bit. You know, give him a sponge bath. Just for hygienic purposes—“

“I’ll do it,” she said immediately, without turning around.

“I’m sorry,” Ann shook her head. “But you’re not a nurse, and you’re not his family.”

“Neither are you,” April said, chuckling darkly. “You’re a janitor.”

“Okay, you’re really going to have to cut that shit out.“

“Nah, I don’t think I will.”

“April, seriously—“

_“April?”_

The voice was soft, thin, and a little strained. Both women stopped in their tracks, and April hoped—prayed—that she wasn't imagining things this time.

Andy’s eyes were open, and he was looking directly at her.

“Oh my God,” she whispered, leaning over and grabbing his hand. “Andy—“

His eyes were wide, and he looked scared.

“Andy, do you know where you are?” Ann approached him from the other side of the bed, taking her stethoscope and listening to his heart.

“Ann?” he looked confused. “W-why am I in the hospital?”

“You were in an accident,” April answered first, trying to draw his attention back to her. “You were on your motorcycle and you were it by a car, remember?”

“I was?” he blinked rapidly. “I…”

“Can you tell me the last thing you remember?” Ann asked.

Andy closed his eyes tight, like he was thinking hard. “I remember April,” he said, looking over at her. April’s heart skipped a beat. “I remember walking with her around the neighborhood, because she was hanging flyers for…for something.”

“You don’t remember anything else?” Ann wrote something on his chart. “What the flyers were for?” 

“N-no,” he shook his head. “My…band?”

“No,” April said softly. “They were for some stupid kids concert Leslie was putting on.”

“Leslie?” Andy looked even more confused now. “Leslie Knope? Isn’t she the parks lady?”

A pang of nerves shot through April then, and she looked at Ann helplessly. “What’s wrong with him?”

“He seems like he’s got amnesia,” the nurse replied. “Minor, but it’s there.”

“He’s…”

“April?” Andy tried to sit up, but his hurt arm stopped him.

“Yeah,” she turned her attention back to him immediately. He reached for her hand, and gave her a slight squeeze.

“I’m…kinda freaking out a little.”

“It’s okay,” she said soothingly. “I’m gonna help you okay? You’ll be back to normal in no time.”

“How is it that you can’t remember Leslie,” Ann said, crossing her arms. “but you remember April?”

April glared at Ann, but Andy simply smiled.

“I could never forget April,” he said, looking at her with soft eyes.

Her glare melted away in an instant. She was going to make sure he recovered, even if it took weeks.

“Well, um,” Ann tried to focus. “I guess we should get you cleaned up a little.”

April couldn’t help but grin at how distracted the nurse was watching her and Andy. She cupped his cheek, rubbing his patchy scruff with her palm. Andy tilted his head into her hand, sighing softly.

“Like I said before,” April said, glancing quickly at Ann but barely looking away from Andy. “I can take care of him.”

“April, like I told _you_ before, you’re not a nurse, so—“

“I want April to do it,” Andy said immediately.

April bit her lip to stop from smiling, while a frustrated Ann threw her hands up in the air.

“Fine,” the nurse said, tossing down the towels and washcloths at the foot of the bed. “Be my guest. Call me if you need anything. In the meantime, I’m gonna call a doctor to come examine him, because that amnesia isn’t normal.”

 

“This okay?” April asked, running the warm washcloth along Andy’s neck and down his back.

“Y-yeah,” he shivered slightly, but looked pleased. “This is great.”

The curtain was drawn around his bed for privacy, and Andy had stripped down to his boxers. April took care to be gentle, as Andy carefully lifted his arms for her like a child. They had to take extra time with his sling, so April was sure to keep him from hurting himself even more than he already was.

It was surreal, in a way. Here she was, giving Andy a bath of sorts. Only days ago she wanted nothing to do with him for the rest of her life.

“Lean back,” she instructed gently, and Andy obeyed. April moved the washcloth down his front, over his chest and stomach and up his sides. The whole time, he watched her without a word.

“I don’t understand,” he finally spoke, as April soaked up the cloth in fresh soap and water. “It doesn’t make sense why I’d forget everything. I mean, why the hell was I even on that motorcycle anyway?”

“Don’t worry about it,” April said. “We’re gonna get you back to normal. I really think you should relax a bit, though. I mean, you’ve been out for three days.”

“April,” Andy said. “I just wanted to let you know, um…how much I appreciate everything you’re doing for me.”

“It’s nothing,” she shrugged, moving the towel down his legs. Gingerly, she washed his inner thighs beneath the boxers. She tried to keep her attention where it needed to be, ignoring the obvious distractions his body provided. 

“It’s just…I dunno, I thought you hated me and never wanted to see me again.”

April looked at him, and for a moment he looked sad. She reached for his hand and gave him he same reassuring squeeze he’d given her earlier.

“No,” she shook her head. “I don’t hate you. I could never hate you.”

Andy smiled, and for the first time since he’d woken up, he looked relieved.

They both moved without thinking. The washcloth in her hand dropped to the floor with a wet splat. April leaned in, just as Andy leaned forward, and their lips met. He opened his mouth for her, and it was soft, sweet, and not at all unwelcome. 

When they broke apart, Andy was staring at her with the most loving expression, and April could only giggle. 

“That was nice,” she smiled, not sure what else to possibly say. 

“Yeah…that was,” he sighed happily.

She leaned in, ready to continue where they left off…

“April? Andy?”

Ann’s surprised voice startled the both of them from behind the curtain, making April jump up quickly. The nurse wasn't alone. 

“What?” April cleared her throat, pushing her hair behind her ears with shaky fingers. She slid the curtain back and glared at Ann. 

“This is Dr. Harris,” Ann said, a little coldly. “He's here to talk to Andy.”

“Sweet,” Andy said, looking around the room at the three of them. “About what?”

“About your memory,” Ann said. “How’s that sponge bath going?” she narrowed her eyes.

“Fine,” April flattened her shirt in front where it’d gotten bunched up in her haste to lean over to get to Andy, trying to ignore Ann’s questioning stare.

Dr. Harris spent about fifteen minutes total with Andy, talking to him, asking him questions, and going over everything he remembered before the accident happened. He occasionally wrote things down, while April stood by silently and Ann observed, also taking notes. When he was done, he stood up and sighed.

“Seems like typical short-term memory loss,” he said, monotone as ever. “Should be back to normal in a matter of days.”

“That’s it?” April said. “So, he’s just…fine?”

“Pretty much,” Harris shrugged. “He needs to stay for a couple more days just in case, but by the end of the week he’s free to leave.”

“What happens if his memory doesn’t come back by then?”

“If it doesn’t, then we can do some extra tests to make sure everything else is functioning normally. He already had a brain scan when he came in here to make sure there wasn’t any damage we couldn’t see, aside from the coma. There wasn’t. Until then, we wait, and Andy keeps resting until he goes home.”

“Gee, thanks doc,” April rolled her eyes as Dr. Harris left the room.

“Well,” Ann sighed. “Let me know if there’s anything you need,” she said. “You heard the doctor, Andy. Get some rest.”

 

“April,” Andy called for her softly, hours later after a lengthy nap—and a heavy dose of pain medicine—sometime before visiting hours ended.

“Yeah,” she sat up in the chair sleepily, occasionally drifting off. She’d barely left the hospital room all day.

“What was I doing again when I got in the accident?”

“You were going back home to get your guitar,” she said, playing with the fringe of the hospital blanket. “You were going to put on a show for the kids concert on that lot that Leslie’s been obsession over for a year now.”

“Leslie,” Andy nodded. “She’s the blonde one?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I thought I was with you, though?” he said. “I remember walking with you. We were gonna go out on a date, right? Why was I putting on a show if I was supposed to be with you?”

April felt nauseous. How could she possibly tell him that she’d just blown him off, potentially causing the entire accident in the first place? If he’d only been in the right frame of mind, maybe things would’ve been different.

“Andy,” she sighed heavily. “I need to tell you something.”

“Okay,” he said, sitting up a bit. “Is everything okay?”

“I haven’t been completely honest with you about something,” she said.

“Oh.”

“You were with me right before the accident,” she said, trying not to look him in the eye. “But we weren’t going out on a date. I’d actually just told you I didn’t wanna go out with you.”

“But,” he looked confused. “Why would you say that to me?”

“Because I thought you still had a thing for Ann,” April said. “I thought you’d never get over her, and I couldn’t handle being with someone who still felt things for someone else.”

“But I don’t like Ann like that anymore,” he said, shaking his head. “I like you.”

“I know,” she said miserably. “When I heard you got in the accident, all I could think about was if you were okay. Then I thought it was all my fault, which I still feel like it kind of is.”

“April…”

“Now you’ve got amnesia, and it’s because of me, and I feel like such a jerk—“

“April!” Andy reached for her hand. “It’s not your fault!”

“It is, though…”

“No, it’s not,” Andy said.

“I understand if you sorta hate me,” she stood up, shouldering her purse. “I would hate me too.”

“I don’t hate you,” he assured her. “I couldn’t ever hate you!”

“Really?”

“Really,” he nodded.

Slowly, he pulled her forward, softly kissing her, and April felt that guilt wash away. When they broke apart, she smiled.

“When I get outta here,” he said, kissing her knuckles. “I’m totally gonna take you out on a date.”

 

The next morning, April arrived early. She made sure to stop at the coffee cart and grab a chocolate muffin for Andy, and two coffees. She felt better than she had all week.

She stopped short when she arrived at Andy’s room. She could hear him talking to Ann behind a partially closed curtain.

“I’m feeling way better,” he said, and April could hear him sit up and groan a little. “See? I can sit up and my arm doesn’t even hurt that bad. That pain medicine is the best.”

“Good,” Ann said cheerily. A pause, then, “Where’s April this morning?”

“She’s not here yet,” he said, and April was pleased that he sounded slightly bummed out. “But she said she’d be here before nine, so probably soon.”

“She’s missing an awful lot of work this week,” Ann pointed out.

“Yeah,” Andy said. “She’s the best, though.”

“Well, I’m just glad you’re okay,” Ann said. Another pause. “God, it’s so weird to see you like this…you know, in a cast and stuff. Brings back memories.”

“Yeah,” Andy laughed. “Glad I have both working legs this time, though…”

“Well, like I said, I’m glad you’re doing all right.”

April leaned over just slightly. Through the crack in the door she could see them. She could see how close Ann was getting. Then, to her horror, she could see the nurse lean down and kiss Andy on the lips.

Everything in April’s brain stopped in that moment, and she felt like she was going to be sick. This couldn’t be happening, not after everything and all the things they’d been through. There was no way Andy could do this to her…

“Um,” Andy pulled away quickly, and April watched, breathing hard. “Ann, what are you doing?”

Ann looked just as horrified as Andy did. “Oh my God,” she said. “I’m…I’m so sorry, I—“

“I like April,” Andy said firmly. “I thought that was obvious.”

April no longer felt like she was on the verge of throwing up. Things were becoming clearer now in her brain, and the walls didn’t feel like they were spinning.

“I’m so sorry,” Ann said again. “I don’t know what came over me just now.”

“Ann, I like you as a person and everything,” Andy said. “but that’s it.”

Ann nodded, and April saw her turn to leave, looking flustered. Quickly, she dodged the door and hid in a hallway, waiting for the nurse to go in the opposite direction. Once she was gone, April crept back to Andy’s room.

“April!” Andy looked upset when he saw her. “Oh, my God…I have to tell you something. Something crazy just happened, and I promise I didn’t do it on purpose—“

“I know,” she said quickly, sitting on the side of his bed. “I saw the whole thing, Andy.”

“You—“

“I was right outside.”

Andy sunk down into the mattress and looked at her. “So…you know Ann kissed me.”

“Yeah.”

“I promise, I didn’t kiss her back!” he offered quickly. “I pulled away, I told her I didn’t like her like that—“

“Andy, I told you, I saw everything,” April said. “I know what happened.”

“So,” he took a deep breath. “You’re not mad at me?”

“No,” April shook her head.

“You don’t hate me?”

“I could never hate you,” she smirked, echoing his words from the day before.

“Oh…good,” he chuckled.

“Andy!” Another voice made the both of them turn. Leslie had arrived, carrying a large, stuffed teddy bear. “April too? Well, I guess I’m not surprised to see you here,” she half-laughed, half-sighed. “Ron’s kind of going crazy without you answering his calls, but at the same time, he understands.”

“Hey Leslie!” Andy said happily. “Is that for me?” he looked at the bear.

“Yup,” she said, placing it in one of the empty chairs. “We all miss you over at City Hall.”

“Oh man,” he said. “I miss everyone too. I can’t wait to get back to my shoeshine stand.”

April turned her head sharply. “What did you say?” She looked from Andy to Leslie and back again, her eyes wide.

“I said I can’t wait to get back to the shoeshine stand?”

“Andy!” April smiled. “Your memory is coming back!”

“It…what?”

“It’s coming back!” April leaned forward and kissed him, ignoring Leslie’s look of confusion. “What does Leslie do, and who is Ron Swanson?”

“Leslie is Deputy Director of the Parks Department where you work,” he said slowly. “and Ron is your boss.”

April laughed and threw her arms around his neck in a hug.

“Oh my God,” he said slowly. “April, you’re right!”

“Okay first of all,” Leslie said, pointing at them. “You two are a thing now?”

April just continued to smile, as Andy pulled her closer with his good arm. Honestly, she’d never felt so happy to see Leslie in her life.

 

“So, about that date,” Andy said, holding April’s hand as they left the hospital a couple of days later. His other arm was still in a sling, but otherwise he’d recovered nicely.

“Yeah?” April grinned, holding on tight.

“I really wanna take you out, you know.”

“I know.”

“So that’s a yes?”

“Don’t know what we can really do when you have one good arm and one broken one,” she shrugged, but smiled all the same.

“Well,” Andy gave her that reassuring squeeze she loved so much. “I’m sure we’ll figure something out.”

“Yeah,” she said, walking with him to the car. “I’m sure we will.”


End file.
